A child laughs on average…300 times a day.

An adult on average…5 times a day.

I'm up to about 1 times a day...Any more is just sarcasm directed towards myself...I know...because I am aware of each one of these sarcastic laughs full of pain and disappointment.

Every day we have about 10,000 choices to make. Small and big. Right now I felt that ALL the CHOICES I was making were NOT MINE; they were what someone else wanted me to do.

My goal each day is that more and more of my choices are made because 100% I WANT them. Not because someone else wants me to make those choices; because I WANT TO MAKE THEM.

This is MY LIFE

A lesson for me from myself...

Remember that a child is a gift from God, the richest of all blessings. Do not attempt to mold him in the image of yourself, your father, your brother or neighbour. Each child is an individual and should be permitted to be himself.

Don't crush a child's spirit when he fails. Never compare him with others who have outshone him.

Remember that anger and hostility are natural emotions. Help your child to find socially acceptable outlets for these normal feelings or they may turn inward and erupt in the form of physical or mental illness.

Discipline your child with firmness and reason. Don't let your anger throw you off balance. If he knows you are fair you will not lose his respect or love. Always make sure the punishment fits the crime. Even the youngest child has a keen sense of justice.

Remember that each child needs two parents. Present a united front. Never join with your child against your mate. This can create in your child emotional conflicts. It can also create feelings of guilt, confusion and insecurity.

Do not hand your child everything his little heart desires. Permit him to know the trill of earning and the joy of achieving. Grant him the greatest of all satisfactions - the pleasure that comes with personal accomplishment.

Do not set yourself up as the epitome of perfection. This is a difficult role to play 24 hours a day. You will find it easier to communicate with your child if you let him know that mom and dad err, too.

Don't make threats in anger, or impossible promises when you are in a generous mood. Threaten or promise only that which you can live up to. To a child, a parent's word means everything. The child who has lost faith in his parents has difficulty believing in anything.

Do not smother your child with superficial manifestation of "love". The purest and healthiest love expresses itself in day-in, day-out training which breeds self confidence and independence.

Teach your child there is dignity in hard work, whether it is performed with callused hands that shovel coal or skilled fingers that manipulate surgical instruments. Let him know a useful life is a blessed one and a life of ease and pleasure-seeking is empty and meaningless.

Do not try to protect your child against every small blow and disappointment. Adversity strengthens character and makes us compassionate. Trouble is the great equalizer. Let him learn it.

Teach your child to love the Creator and to love all his fellow man. Don't send your child to a place of worship - take him there. Children learn from example. Telling him something is not teaching him. If you give your child a deep and abiding faith in God, it can be his strength and his light when all else fails.

If you are a single parent, surround yourself by loving and supportive friends, role models for your child. It takes a whole community to raise a child.

A child to love

You can have your wealth and riches

All the things so many seek,

Position, power, and success,

The fame you long to keep.

You can earn as much as you wish,

Reach a status high above,

But none of these can equal

Having one sweet child to love.

'Tis the greatest gift from heaven,

Little arms that hold you tight,

And a kiss so soft and gentle

When you tuck them in at night.

A million precious questions

And each story often read,

Two eyes so bright and smiling,

And a darling tousled head.

God has never matched the goodness

Of a trusting little face,

Or a heart so full of laughter

Spreading sunshine every place.

A child to hold and cuddle,

'Tis a gift from God above,

And the world is so much brighter

When you have a child to love.

I want to know myself...

It doesn't interest me what I do for a living.
I want to know what I ache for,
And if I dare to dream of meeting 
My heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old I am.
I want to know if I will risk looking like a fool
For love, for my dream, 
For the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring my moon.
I want to know if I have touched the center of my own sorrow,
If I have been opened by life's betrayals,
Or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if I can sit with pain, 
Mine or your own,
Without moving 
To hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if I can be with joy, 
Mine or your own,
If I can dance with wildness 
and let the ecstasy fill me to the tips of your fingers and toes 
Without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, 
or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story I am telling myself is true.
I want to know if I can disappoint another to be true to myself,
If I can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray my own soul. 

I want to know if I can be faithless and therefore be trustworthy.

I want to know if I can see beauty 
Even when it is not pretty every day,
And if I can source my life 
From its presence.

I want to know if I can live with failure, 
Yours and mine,
And still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where I live or how much money I have.
I want to know if I can get up after the night of grief and despair,
Weary and bruised to the bone, 
And do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn't interest me who I am, how I came to be here.
I want to know if I will stand 
In the center of the fire 
And not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom I have studied.
I want to know what sustains me 
From the inside 
When all else falls away.

I want to know if I can be alone 
With myself,
And if I truly like the company I keep 
In the empty moments.

I AM

After a while I learnt the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul.


I realized that love does not mean leaning and company does not mean security.


I learnt that kisses are not contracts and presents are not promises.


I began to accept defeats with my head up and eyes open with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.


I learnt to build all my roads on today,because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans, and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.


After a while I learnt that even sunshine burns if one got too much of it.
So I plant my own garden and decorate my own soul,instead of waiting for someone to bring me flowers.


I realized that I really can endure, that I really am strong, and I really do have worth.


I still learn and realize, with every breath I still do realize, relearn & remember who I am.


I know now that I AM.

I am You my friend

You ‘ve no idea how hard I have looked for a gift to bring you.


Nothing seemed right.


What’s the point of bringing gold to the gold mine, or water to the ocean.


Everything I came up with was like taking spices to the orient .


It’s not good giving my heart and soul because you already have this.


So-I have brought you a mirror. 


Look at yourself and remember me...I am You..


Take a deep breath, close your eyes and dive into your heart...see yourself surrounded & drifting...that's me.. 

I want to

I want to see you...
Know your voice.


Recognize you when you
first come 'round the corner.


Sense your scent when I come
into a room you've just left.


Know the lift of your heel,
the glide of your foot.


Become familiar with the way
you purse your lips, then let them part,
just the slightest bit, when I lean in to your space
and kiss you.


I want to know the joy of how you whisper
"more."

Happy Valentine Day !

Have you really been in love?  Its Horrible, isn't it?  

It makes you so vulnerable.  It opens up your chest, your heart, your Soul.  This means that someone can get inside you & mess you up completely.  

You are smoothly coasting along in life & suddenly one person, no different from any other, wanders into your peaceful existence, & you are not yourself anymore.  You give them a piece of your Soul on a tray.  They didn't ask for it.  They just did something simple one day, like only look at you, or smile, or touch your hand.  And suddenly your life is not yours anymore, and you know this instantly.   

Love takes hostages for life.  It gets inside you & eats you inside out, leaving you empty and crying in the darkness, fearful that hearing a simple phrase like "We should just be friends" will turn into a glass splinter, working its way into your heart, murdering you instantly & leaving you to die a million painful deaths for eternity, one at a time.  

Love hurts, not just in the mind.  It's a Soul hurt; a real rips-your-life-&-Soul-apart pain.  I really hate love.  And I also cannot live without it. 

Happy Valentine Day my dearest friends !

If Only...

If only you could see past the shoreline, you would know what I feel..

If only you would allow yourself to hear the waves, you would feel what I feel..

If only you would remove the viel of conformance, & look beyond the window of your life...
You would see through convention and would experience what I feel...

If only you had faith in yourself as I do, you would walk with me..
If only you could see the colors that I do, you would pine to talk with me..

If only you would want to touch the sky and live a life as I do,
Then your desires would come alive too..

And then, in your new birth, we would fly away together & be born anew...

I have come a long way...

Tiny Scattered Moments of life...
Sprinkled on the garden of memories

Strolling barefoot on them,
It feels that I have wandered too far and now cannot remember where I left my shoes..

My heels and heart  were soft when I got here,
They are still tender..and will always be fragile, till those bitter sweet memories keep tingling them

Its true, I have forgotten where I left my shoes..
And now it seems that maybe I won't need them anymore...

I have come a long way...

She, Oh She

She 
May be the face I can't forget 
The trace of pleasure or regret 
May be my treasure or the price I have to pay 


She 
May be the song that summer sings 
May be the chill that autumn brings 
May be a hundred different things 
Within the measure of a day

She 
May be the beauty or the beast 
May be the famine or the feast 
May turn each day into a heaven or a hell 


She may be the mirror of my dreams 
The smile reflected in a stream 
She may not be what she may seem 
Inside her shell 

She 
Who always seems so happy in a crowd 
Whose eyes can be so private and so proud 
No one's allowed to see them when they cry 


She 
May be the love that cannot hope to last 
May come to me from shadows of the past 
That I'll remember till the day I die 

She 
May be the reason I survive 
The why and wherefore I'm alive 
The one I'll care for through the rough in ready years 
Me 
I'll take her laughter and her tears 
And make them all my souvenirs 
For where she goes I've got to be 
The meaning of my life is 

She
She, oh she

I Still Sing This Song

I face the world with a smile, no one knows what is hid inside.
They see only happiness, they cant see the tears I've cried.

When I am alone I hurt, because here I do it well.
In front of all the watchful eyes my heaven turns to hell.


The judge and jury awaits me, everyone has a say.
In a life that hangs suspended for yet another day.


Who are they to judge if what I have done is right or wrong?
In the end I gave everything up & inside still I sing this song.


I don't know how to find the strength I thought I had.
If only I could play tough it wouldn't be so bad.


They say that life goes on and someday I'll smile again.
But, how do they know where I've been without knowing my pain? 


I've traveled so far from home, and can't find my way back
Somewhere along the way I must have jumped the track.


I saw myself just today and my smile is still the same.
I looked at me so sweetly, but never spoke my name.


I wonder if I am required, It hasn't been that long.
I may have been forgotten, but I still sing this song.

I want to know you

I want to know you like That.
Like a poet describes a foreign land—


More than the deep of your eyes
I want to know what they see
when you are moved to kiss me,
when you must have me;
when jealousy burns you to ashes.

I want to know you
like a mother knows her child suffers
ten thousand miles away.

I want to know the
ache and sour of your fear
of losing us
and what the fight tastes like
on your tongue.

I want to know what demons say to you
in your long nights
and what happened on that day
and how you've forgotten
and how you've forgiven.

I want to know you like This:

that as you sit casually
taking me in,
smiling playfully,
there is always
all of you
begging
me...
for my heart.

Made For Each Other

We are Made For Each Other


I wish that your hands
had never touched my hair.


That I had only seen your name,
never held the face.


I wish that each of your glances
had not opened a hunger in me.


That the time I let my fingers pass
down the cool sides of your neck,
across the warm house of your heart,


that you would have shunned me;
that I would have run.

I wish that our hands
had never entwined—


that I would never have created
languages & symbols

in your moistening palm—

that someone would have seen us,


that someone would have come.

I wish that you had never
uttered my name aloud, or
written it down, or whispered it
alone in the night.


That I would never have
held your gaze
across the room, so many times—


that I would have hesitated to come,


that I would have hurried to go.

I wish that my lust for you
would turn to ashes—


that my want for the knowledge of you,
for the sound of you crying out
would disappear like smoke,

and that the thought of you inside me
—or anywhere in the world—
did not frighten,


and that the risk
of toppling the lives we live did not
strobe like a beacon amidst these churning, relentless seas

but...but...We Are Made For Each Other.


(Em Claire)

Love Stays

Usually we fall asleep one after the other
you, speaking into the air the last loving thought
me, left to contemplate it

I like to wait until I hear the sound of your breath deepen and slow
to know the same kind of peace that comes
when the contentment of any creature who companions us
comforts us
in their comfort

I like to wait, and let you live there
in that blessed world
where one knows the other is Sentinel,
then gently help you to wake, just enough to place a leg
a cool arm under
the sheets that I pull from beneath you
and fold back over you
and tuck around you

Then, we travel
together and apart
through the stretch of black-silk hours toward dawn
knowing that either both of us are sleeping seamlessly
or that both of us are restless

but that tomorrow, no matter what

Love stays 



(Em Claire)